I’m not sure if this is against protocol here to link to OTHER movie review sites, but I just finished reading this hilarious 2 part review/deconstruction of the new Transformers movie at Topless Robot.

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/06/tr_review_transformers_revenge_of_the_fallen.php#more

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/06/bonus_robs_transformers_2_faqs.php

The second link (his “day after thoughts”) is the funniest one - he basically chats with himself to figure out why the movie was so horrible. I had quite a few LOL moments with it.

enjoy

Gosh man, just read those links…bloody hilarious!!

” ...and now it can also bring him back to life.
It’s very powerful, this Allspark. ”

Just the way this guy puts his words together, natural comedian.

I’m just wondering however, which parts are real and which are not? I’ve not yet watched the movie. The part where he says the decepticons send in a slutty robot into Sam’s college, is that fer real?

guitartutorialsnow - June 28, 2009, 11:48pm

Gosh man, just read those links…bloody hilarious!!

” ...and now it can also bring him back to life.
It’s very powerful, this Allspark. ”

Just the way this guy puts his words together, natural comedian.

I’m just wondering however, which parts are real and which are not? I’ve not yet watched the movie. The part where he says the decepticons send in a slutty robot into Sam’s college, is that fer real?

yeah - i think it’s all real. the thing is full of spoilers. someone on another forum who saw it talked about the “hottie decepticon” too.

How is this hottie decepticon possible? Do they do some sorta Galactica cylon disguise or something? I’ve gotta go watch the movie sometime this week, just been so busy of late.

I pretty much consider Transformers/Fallen a perfect movie to steal. Why pay to see this junk?
I’ve also heard that Michael Bay is whining like a skinned-knee bitch because it hasn’t received a decent review yet, and has threatened to stop making action pictures.
I don’t know if that’s true, but it’s hard to feel sorry for the guy who obviously has such a high level of entitlement about his legacy in film.

Christ, my giving him an okay review must put me in a very small minority.

Sadly given I still think the film’s an unbelievable mess and that I’d agree the guy seems like something of a petulant child, I guess I won’t be asking for my backhanders just yet.

I wish the ‘hottie Decepticon’ was someone’s idea of a joke. God, I wish. The line straight afterwards where Shia Lebeouf talks about being kissed by her still made me laugh though. <shrug>

Nope, I’m sitting this one, happily, out.

this movie is FUCKING RACIST through and through.

never have i been so pissed off since Zack Fucking Snyder’s equally racist 300.

fuck Michael Bay. if i ever meet him, he’ll definitely get an earful from me.

The Visitor - July 1, 2009, 12:21pm

this movie is FUCKING RACIST through and through.

never have i been so pissed off since Zack Fucking Snyder’s equally racist 300.

fuck Michael Bay. if i ever meet him, he’ll definitely get an earful from me.

In Zack Snyder’s defense, 90% of Persian royalty DO love the cock.

just sayin’.

As much of an ass pummelin’ I’ll get from this…I’ll say it anyway.

I digged it.

Sure, many faults abound but no different than the first [and other blockbusters of it’s ilk] and a damn worthy title to have when you wanna show off your high def home theatre.

I watched it in a theatre full of Japanese kids and it was amazing to see how much they reacted to the film. They were laughing and pumping their fists in the air…it must be great to watch crap like that and get such a buzz from it.
I suppose we were the same when we watched Ghostbusters or Gremlins.

Ghostbusters and Gremlins had nice stories, interesting characters and genuine humour. they never tried to be more than what they can be.

TF2, while stupid, racist and overblown, is very much a product of our times and not something necessarily to be proud of. what comes through the pop culture of an era, i hate to say, is what we allow to come through. this is an age where mediocrity is celebrated. this is a time where bits and bytes of information is passing across borders and continents effortlessly and without delay.

EFFORT.

that’s the key word here. back in the days of Ghostbusters and Gremlins, we didn’t have the Internet in its full-blown form like today. students had to make an effort to get the information and knowledge they needed. today they just log onto the Internet and voila, everything is there for them. kids don’t make much effort to get what they want anymore. the faster something is delivered to them, the less demanding something is of them, the less challenging it is, then they’ll cheer and celebrate it. and what comes fast and easy and effortlessly these days is also usually mediocre.

Michael Bay pushes everything right up into his audiences’s faces. it doesn’t require audience participation. all they have to do is sit back, and let him take over the reins and serve up stupidity after stupidity. unfortunately, that’s what audiences today want. something served on a platter no matter how it might insult their intelligence. as long as they don’t have to make an effort to get it, as long as it doesn’t require active participation, active thought and reflection.

OK, as I haven’t seen the movie yet I’ll refrain from making a final judgement (I manage to like the damnedest things once I see them) but several reviews point out how inexcusably DUMB it is. Now I’m willing to let some things fly in an I-forgive-but-won’t-forget kind of way, but this seems to be one long string of “dumb gaps” and “continuity errors”. The bad continuity in the first Transformers nearly ruined the movie for me (now it’s day, now it’s night, now they are running to a crater with a droid in it, now they MEET the droid, but not near the crater but while stepping out of a car in some alleyway, HUH?????), so I’m dreading “TF2: ROTF” quite a bit…
 
Time to read more reviews, and this one had me laughing out loud as well.
It manages to agree with everything said above, by both the Bay-sayers and the Nay-sayers!

‘Michael Bay pushes everything right up into his audiences’s faces. it doesn’t require audience participation. all they have to do is sit back, and let him take over the reins and serve up stupidity after stupidity.’
I agree with ya dude…I really do [I don’t own any of Bay’s flicks and I feel weird speaking positively about one] but I guess it comes down to the fact that there are always going to be films like this one. Big, loud and woefully stupid. This one just so happened to win me over.

Look, there is no way I can properly defend this film. The story is as useless as everyone says. In fact, I’ve enjoyed reading people’s scathing reviews more than the flick itself but I keep coming back to the spectacle.
I paid my 1,800 yen to see explosions, sunlit photography, slo motion circular dolly shots and to see if this ‘Devastator’ character really was worth all the ‘toughest, most complex CG character ever created’ hype from ILM.

I sincerely love character and story over action. I truely do…I just finished complaining about the bland as hell K20 on these boards but when it comes to a Transformers film…[sigh]...I don’t expect nor want that.

I’ve heard that same expression for dozens of films I loathe; be they the Fast and the Furious [I had a kid attach the word ‘saga’ on those flicks…jesus] or another stupid FOX superhero flick with a rock soundtrack and I debate the hell outta morons that claim to ‘Turn their brains off at the door’.

But here…I was just overwhelmed by the sheer size of the damn thing.
So…I got my money’s worth.
One thing that is obvious…is the cost. You can see the 200 mil on screen…you can grow jealous with all that money wasted when other, more cohesive filmakers could have done wonders with it.

BTW…please let me say that I do not consider Transformers anywhere in the league of my beloved GB.
Never. Ever.
Just making a point of the period. Same thing happened in the 70’s with Jaws and Star Wars.

Brad - July 3, 2009, 6:45am

BTW…please let me say that I do not consider Transformers anywhere in the league of my beloved GB.
Never. Ever.
Just making a point of the period. Same thing happened in the 70’s with Jaws and Star Wars.

 
Star Wars? But… Star Wars !!?!
MUST… RESIST… BANNING… BRAD…

it’s strange, but all the people defending the “Hey - just turn yer brain off and enjoy! It’s an action pic!” are chock full’o fail for two reasons:

1. They invite studios to continue to push expensive spectacle - the fraudulent argument that “more money = better” at the expense of cultivated talents like writing, artistry and yes, even DIRECTION. Any fool can spend money - but as we’ve noticed in so many reviews - what good is having the most complex CGI character ever put to film created by the top FX house on the planet, when some hack director can’t seem to construct any sort of continuity? They’re wasting THOUSANDS of hours of artistic expression, only to have half the audience burst out of the bubble because “What? Where was that one robot over there? Where was that big landmark they were just standing next to?”
It’s sloppiness, and deserves to be ridiculed. Because we would notice lack of continuity in written dialog, right? If you cut five sentences out of an important scene between two characters and dilute the effect and confuse the audience, that’s considered inexcusable. So just because Bay does the same thing with expensive CGI creations, it’s supposed to be ok because “they spent a lot of money on it?”
I don’t think so.

2. These people are arguing from the point of view that mediocrity should be celebrated because “hey - who’s made an expensive blockbuster that has great story and likable characters? Nobody!” Expensive blockbusters are now expected to have loose ends, useless trickery and all that because…uhh why? When did that become a rule?
This is completely false - in fact, T:TFallen followed the release of a perfect example of this type of blockbuster - Star Trek. In fact, there have been plenty of big budget franchise films that have treated story and characters as equally worthy as the eye candy.

So I seriously don’t get why everyone’s so eager to give a hack like Bay a pass. ILM? Sure - they have as much to do with the level of enjoyment one can get out of this movie as anyone, and they did spectacular work. But Bay wasted it as he schlubbed through his high profile “Director” role, where it’s his JOB to make things make sense, make us care for characters, get good performances out of actors and so on.

So he fails, and so do his apologists.

Really?

Star Trek? From the same writing team? A movie that was damn great not because of the script but because of the director/ actors and sheer charisma found within?

Dude…that script has such useless dialogue and horrible coincidences that it’s deservedly Transformers brother.
Even J.J said the script was crap and needed some tinkering but alas…strike happens.

Bay, Lucas and anyone else accused of the ‘Money hungry hack/ CG overload/ Lack of decent characters’ title don’t ‘owe’ us anything. You paid your money for a movie based on toys. Big, plastic toys that say ‘Roll out’ and starred in a series of commercials that warned kids about drugs. Car/ plane/ bike/ boombox robots warning animated white kids that stimulants were not good. You get what you’re asking for with this flick I feel.
Any sympathy one has is out the window. You want characters? Go watch ‘Election’.